Bai

We knew her as Bai, a very common way of addressing the mother in this region in the bygone era. Bai in certain other parts of the country was not considered polite while addressing a lady. But in our region, Bai was commonly the mother and Babuji the father. I, for one had my own granny (maternal) who is Bai, so it was quite ok to have your wife’s granny (paternal) being addressed the same way. I got to know her very briefly during our occasional visits to the in-laws. I don’t recall her having spoken to me directly ever, but she was around and her persona was confident and sort of detached from the routine and mundane. So my impressions of her are essentially what I gathered from the better half and my in-laws. Short and dimunitive in her stature, she was slightly hunched owing to old age as also the daily chores in a rural household over several decades had taken their toll. She was always in a veil in front of strangers that included relatives too, but being the grand son-in law, I was family and hence she did not cover her face. That was the only concession, as otherwise she remained reclusive. You could observe her watching us and her great grand children rather bemusedly. Hers was a tough life, Spartan, highly religious, I would even say pious as she was always fasting, undertaking pilgrimages, reading from the scriptures and attending satsangs (holy conventions!). Such was her ardour towards religion that she believed in following all the rituals scrupulously. An early riser she would not permit anyone entering the kitchen without having had a bath, so it was the norm, when ever she was around that the day began rather early. Very frugal in her living, she had only one meal since decades, never flouting that rule ever, irrespective of the temptations of the palate or the occasion. Other remarkable quality which she possessed was that she did not partake food prepared outside her own kitchen. Her kitchen travelled with her, a Nutan stove and two cooking utensils with two plates for herself and her husband. She carried her rations, which was essentially pulses, flour and rice. She travelled across the length and breadth of the country during her pilgrimages but she remained steadfast in her observing these principles. I am told, during early days, when life was not very leisurely, she would go to the riverside for her morning rituals and collect wood floating in the river itself for lighting the fire of the kitchen. She was also a strict disciplinarian and did not hesitate in using the rod to ensure her progeny maintained a strict Spartan life like her own. She, however was a firm believer in the caste system and untouchability and did not forgive Mahatma Gandhi for having attempted to rid the country of this evil practice. No amount of discussions or arguments could make her change her mind on this topic. She was no exception in her own era, but today she had lost relevance, or has she?